Litter

And I don't mean of the cat variety.

This is my dog, Spike.


Isn't he cute?

Today I took Spike for a 2 mile walk. It was so lovely. I had my music, I picked up his poop...it was great.

And then I saw it.


This small little Krystal's burger box.

What the hell, people? Why do you litter? Why can't you find a trash can? I found a trash can for my bag o' dog poop.

So ridiculous.

So, I've decided, once I get my loan disbursement, to spend $10-$25 buying one of those trash pickers. And whenever I walk Spike (which I'm resolving to do more often) I will pick up trash along the way.

Peace,
Mrs. H

Some Recent Observations

So. I work at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, at the Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride.

It's pretty cool, most of the time.

Well, recently, since I can pretty much do most of my job with my eyes closed, I've taken to people watching.

And I have noticed something.

The fatter they are, the slower they are, physically and mentally.

Now stop, before you jump down my throat please note that I, myself, am fat.

"Everyone says that."

Here we go; I'm posting my weight online so you'll believe me.

280 pounds.

Whew.

Anyway. My theory, which I'm sure has been made before but I'm too lazy to go researching right now, is that high-fat diets are damaging brain cells...somehow.

Now, this isn't to say that fat people are DUMB. Just SLOW. As in, slow to react (physically and mentally).

I try and make this distinction because, given the time, said fat person will get what I'm saying as well as the next skinny person. But the skinny person can ask me a question, hear what I"m saying, and grasp the concept while walking AWAY from me. The fat person will ask me a question, start walking away, going, "Huh? Huh? Huh?" Then have to walk back and stare at me like I'm talking a foreign language.

I feel a little odd, talking smack about those who are overweight, but as a fellow fatty, it's like, "Oh, hey, ya'll, I see why being overweight is a bad thing beyond our physical health."

Also, I have gingivitis. And I need to go to the dentist, so whenever I get my loan disbursement, guess where I'm going!

I officially give up soda. Today. Forever and ever, as well as any sugary drinks (not including fresh squeezed juices that I know contain no extra sugar). I also give up prepackaged candy and baked goods. That stuff is no good for you and if I have to make it myself, I will be less likely to do it...cause it takes effort.

Peace,
Mrs. H

Well, I feel sheepish...

And now I want to watch Aladdin...

Anyway, so it's been a while (again) and my friend over at Adventurous Appetite mentioned me in her blog, saying that I was "insanely creative" and it was like...

"Awww...crap, I need to update now."

So, here you go! Today's update is...

DIY Finger Paints!

and

Bean Sprout Soup!

Both are super easy. Mr. H made the finger paints, as I was at work and wanted to paint when I got home (even though I ended up passing out instead).

I got the recipe for the finger paints here. No picture unfortunately because I don't know where my camera charger is...I'll find it eventually.

Mr. H said it tasted okay; it has a sweet/salty taste. So I mean, if you're into that kind of flavor, I suppose it could be used for...erm...bedroom time...

*BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH*

ANYWAY.

Bean Sprout Soup

Ingredients
Bean Sprouts (I had about 0.8 pound)
Water (enough to make the sprouts float and become SOUPY, ya know, like a soup)
1/4 cup soy sauce
Drizzle olive oil
Garlic salt
Ginger powder
White pepper

Put everything in a big ol' pot. Bring to a rolling boil for 10 minutes.

That's it. SO EASY. It would be a great side dish. It's going to accompany some rice and steamed veggies tonight when Mr. H gets home.

This healthy dinner will be to combat the pasta bake he made last night, which was delicious but SO UNHEALTHY.

Peace,
Mrs. H

Coconut Oil, My Love

What can't coconut oil do?

It can cook. It can keep my pits smelling fresh (with the help of another faithful, baking soda).

And now I have discovered (via the internet) another use for the wonderful fat (WHO THOUGHT THOSE TWO WORDS COULD BE USED IN THE SAME SENTENCE?!).

You can SHAVE with it.

It's pretty rad, actually. You just rub the oil all over your legs and shave like normal. It's a GREAT lubricant AND it moisturizes while you shave. I shaved yesterday and my legs STILL feel insanely soft.

Please, do yourself a favor. Stop buying icky shaving cream, stop resorting to soap (or shampoo in my case) and just pick up some coconut oil.

You will NEVER look back!

Soft shaven peace,
Mrs. H

Focusing on the good!

So this weekend I went up to Gainesville for a friend's birthday.

It was super funsies!

However, yesterday, I was so tired (2 hours of sleep) and so hungry (hadn't eaten in 8 hours) and thusly so impatient...

...that I ate out.

I know, I know. It is disappointing. But! I can proudly say I went a month without eating out!

Hooray for me! That's actually a HUGE achievement.

But I will be starting my 100 days over starting tomorrow.

And I WILL prevail!

Peace,
Mrs. H

PS I'm writing this post from my PHONE!!!

Detergent Review

Okay, so Mr. H did some laundry with our homemade laundry detergent. When it was all said and done, he wasn't as itchy (still a little itchy, so I'm wondering if there might be something in the kind of soap I used to make the detergent...). It got our clothes just as clean as other detergents. There wasn't that "pretty smell" like you get with other detergents; it just smelled...clean. It was cool.

All in all, I'd say success.

Peace,
Mrs. H

Chef Boyardee is calling...

No real post today. Horrible day with the muggles. Need to relax. Eating Chef Boyardee and playing LEGO Indiana Jones.

You don't get to judge me.

NO PEACE TODAY
Mrs. H

Water to Wine!

Not really, but I needed a cool title, because today's post is about how I used WINE BOXES to make shelves in my kitchen! Wooo!

Okay, back story. I went to Goodwill the other day (How I love Goodwill!), and they had a bunch of wine boxes. By the way, I love that people literally give their trash to Goodwill. "Hey, here's an empty container from like 6 years ago. You can find a use for it, right?"

Why, yes, yes I can.

So I bought like ALL of them (totally 4, 3 large and 1 small), and it came out to about $7. $7? For wooden boxes? Girl, you must be crazy!

Crazy about THRIFTINESS.

So I actually had NO idea what I was going to do with them at first. I brought them home and almost immediately regretted my decision.

And then I saw it.

That GIANT BARE SPOT above my kitchen sink. All that space, going to WASTE.

I knew then what I was going to do with these boxes.

SHELVES. Lots of awesome SHELVES.

Because my kitchen and my bathroom FAIL for storage space. I mean, my kitchen has a nice big pantry, but it's narrow and I have to like climb into it to get anything. It makes cooking a hassle and I want to be able to just GRAB my spices as I cook.

So I didn't want to just nail them up as is, because it was like this huge canvas with which I could make pretty! So I ran to Joanns and picked up some cheap paint (yellow, orange, and blue all together) and some cheap paint brushes and endeavored to PAINT SOMETHING PRETTY.

More story time. I can't paint. To save my life. I try to paint and it comes out looking like a 3 year old dipped it's hands into a bucket o' paint and just went nuts. That being said...

THESE BOXES ARE MY MASTERPIECES.

Like, oh my God, it's as if the world said, "You know what, Liz, just this once (twice even), we're going to give you adequate ability to paint, so that you're kitchen looks semi-decorated."

So pretty *cries*

So the first one I did, I hung up above the kitchen sink using screws. Mr. H was adamant about screws being better than nails, though I imagine whenever we move from this apartment and there are 4 giant holes in the wall, he will possibly regret that decision.

Though considering I spilled paint all over our closet floor, that deposit may be long gone anyway...that's a story for another day!

So up it went! And I'm keeping soap and pretty things there...though I'm not quite sure what pretty things yet! Ideas, anyone???

The second one had a little addition to it. I decided to use the second one for spices, so it needed an extra shelf. I took the small wine box, which I had tried to paint and miserably failed at and therefore must assume the world decided 2 boxes was plenty of talent wasted on me, and hammered off one of the sides. I hammered out the nails and REUSED them to hammer the box side into the big wine box for a shelf!

God, I'm thrifty. Go, Me!

So I put it all together and hung that box above my stove, resulting in an AWESOME spice shelf! The best part is that the shelf I made from the small wine box was shorter than the length of the big wine box, leaving room for me to also store oils and other cooking items!


It's been a good day.

Peace out!
Mrs. H

Mrs. H...for Hippie!

Today was a great day for my hippie side! I took a shower (yes, hippies take showers), washing my hair with baking soda and conditioned it with coconut oil! Usually when I go hippie-fabulous on my hair, I condition with apple cider vinegar, but I read that coconut oil was a great moisturizer for hair, so figured I'd give it a try.

Then I made HOMEMADE DEODORANT. Which I have done before, but it's always fun! Right now, it's sitting in the fridge so it won't melt. It's made with cornstarch, baking soda (I love baking soda!), and coconut oil (coconut oil, you are making a huge break into my life!). Unfortunately, coconut oil melts REALLY easily. As in, I bought it in a solid form several months ago, and it has been sitting in my mildly warm apartment and melted. Crazyyyyyy. But since it melts so easily, I keep it in the fridge.


Short story time! The first time I made homemade deodorant, I took it with me somewhere (for some reason) and left it on the passenger seat in my car. Come back an hour later, and after it sat in my hot car in the hot Florida sun, it melted allllll over my seat.

Lesson learned.


Lastly, today I also made homemade laundry detergent! And it was so easy to make. I'm hoping that it will make Mr. H less itchy, because we are thinking he is allergic to the detergents we usually buy. We will see what happens!


Baking Soda Hair Wash
2Tbsp baking soda
1 Cup water
Put the baking soda in a squeezie bottle, trust me on the one. You don't have to, but it makes it easier. When you're in the shower and ready to wash your hair, just add about a cup of water. If it's a little more or a little less, it's not gonna hurt. You might actually want to play around with the math. I add a little extra baking soda and a little less water because my hair is so thick. The mixture is going to be VERY watery, which is why the squeezie bottle is best. If you just do it in a bowl, you basically dump the whole bowl on your head. The squeezie bottle lets you do it gradually and where you need it.

Coconut Oil Conditioner
You do this AFTER you are out of the shower. Put a VERY small amount on your finger and rub it between your hands to melt it a bit and then rub it through your head, paying special attention to your scalp. Since mine was melted already, I just dipped two fingers in and whatever came out I rubbed around on my hands and then in my hair. In either case, start off with a small amount. If you need more, you can add more.


Deodorant
This stuff is SO awesome. I got the recipe for it here. But if you don't want to go to a different site, it's all good! Here you go:

5-6 Tbsp Coconut oil
1/4 cup baking soda
1/4 cup arrowroot powder or cornstarch

Combine the cornstach. Start adding the coconut oil a little at a time until it's a good consistency for rubbing under your pits (teehee). I liked mine a little mushy, but the first time I made it, it was fairly firm. Pack the stuff into an empty deodorant container, and BAM! Instant deodorant. Remember to keep the stuff in the fridge...


Laundry Detergent
4 cups pure soap, grated
2 cups baking soda
2 cups Borax
Mix 'em all together. Done. Now, when I grated my soap, it was very much like grated cheese. It was still a little too big for mixing in with finely grated borax and baking soda. So I tossed everything into my food processor, which finely ground up the soap. Now it's perfect!

Like I said, I haven't tried the laundry detergent yet, but when I do, I will let you know how it does. Actually, I might have Mr. H tell you how it does, since he's always the one who does the laundry...

Peace!
Mrs. H

Still Dying

Please note that I am still sick from the weekend. Blech. So I haven't done much in the way of creating. I did however find out tonight that frozen blueberries make AMAZING sorbet. Big success there. I also discovered that powdered sugar actually does work better than granulated sugar in the fruit sorbets because it gives it a smoother, creamier texture while granulated sugar just gives it a grainy feel. The powdered sugar helps soak up a lot of the moisture so it isn't just a mass of melting fruit.

So powdered sugar = best for the sorbets.

I am also in the process of

1. Crocheting a lunch bag
2. Hand sewing an actual bag
3. Making a bracelet.

So I should have some better posts when those are finish.

Send me soup,
Mrs. H

Sick

I'm sick. As a dog. Want to die. Need more cough drops!

Mrs. H

Closing Shifts Stink

My first day back at work was Tuesday, and I have had closing shifts ever since. Considering I don't get home till 11:30 and don't wake up till 9:30, I never have time to actually DO anything to blog about!

However, yesterday morning I started on some vegetable broth, using about-to-go-bad mushrooms, the innards of a celery bunch, a left over leek stalk, some about-to-go-bad onions, some carrots and some extra corn. I popped it all in my crock pot, filled it up to the top with water and proceeded to leech the nutrients and flavor out of the vegetables over a span of 24 hours.

The end product was a little spicy. Next time, I shant be putting in pepper with the broth.

This morning I was going to make a kale-wrapped-chicken thing that came to me in a dream, but Mr. H (God love him) pulled out an entire bag of chicken instead of just 2 breasts...

Crap.

So instead, I'm making chicken stew right now (using some of my homemade vegetable broth) and tomorrow I'm going to make double of the kale-wrapped-chicken.

Instead of posting a recipe for vegetable broth, I'm just going to post the link of the website I used when trying to figure out the best way to make a vegetable broth: Vegetable Broth

Enjoy!

Peace,
Mrs. H

Leek and Celery Soup

Dude, I missed a day on the whole blogging thing! My bad. Visiting people in Gainesville was EXHAUSTING. Fun, though!

To make up for it, last night I pulled my CrockPot out and dusted it off (poor unused Crockpot!) and made some YUMMY Leek and Celery Soup.

You all are going to hate me.

Because I didn't measure anything out. So this recipe is gonna suck a little...

And...

I didn't take any pictures of the process...

But it's still delicious and you can still try!!!

H'okay!

Leek and Celery Soup

Ingredients
8 cups vegetable broth
4 Tbsp butter, slice in 1/2 inch pats
2 Stalks of Leek
4 big stalks of celery (as in, the outermost stalks)
1/2 red onion
1 small yellow onion
1 heaping handful of sliced mushrooms
Italian herbs (just a couple of shakes)
1 Tbsp Spinach spepper (aka the dehydrated Spinach leaves that I salted too much and crumbled up for garnish)
Sea Salt

Directions
1. Cut the ends off the leeks. Slice them in half, then start pulling them apart and washing them. Do not skip this step; leeks are infamous for the gross mud they hide.
2. Start slicing them up, end to end, about 1/2 inch pieces.
3. Wash and slice up the celery the exact same way.
4. For both onions, slice them at about half an inch, then chopped the slices up.
5. If you have precut mushrooms, like I did, you can skip this step. If not, just slice up some mushrooms, slicing down towards the stem.
6. Put the vegetable broth into your crockpot, followed by the butter.
7. Throw all the vegetables in.
8. Add the Italian seasoning and Spinach spepper.
9. Cook on high for an hour, then lower the temperature and cook for another 7 hours.
10. When the soup is done (aka the vegetables are RIDICULOUSLY tender and delicious), add some sea salt to your liking and turn off the crockpot.

Now you can eat it all now, or you can freeze it and save for later. If you don't like the texture of the vegetables, but you do like the flavor of the soup, you can blend the entire thing together so that it's not a chunky soup! Enjoy!

Peace,
Mrs. H

Tree-Hugger

So, yesterday we decided to go out of town and visit some friends in Gainesville.

So I don't have anything to post about today.

So you get a picture (drawn by moi) of my friend Tyler hugging a tree.



Hippie.

Peace,
Mrs. H

Dehydrated Spinach Leaves!

So I wanted to make fruit leathers, soooo bad. So I thought to myself, "Psh, I don't need a recipe! I'm a badass and can figure it out myself.

So I bought some guava paste. And laid it out on some wax paper in my dehydrator.

And waited.

Oh God it was horrible. It was mushy and then dry and cracky and dried to the wax paper...

In the end, I trashed it.

But I still wanted to dehydrate something!

So I opened the fridge. What do I have?

Oh, 2 week old spinach leaves that will probably go bad VERY soon and will not get eaten as salad.



BAM! Instant item to dehydrate.

So I threw the leaves into a bowl, drizzled it with olive oil, salt, and pepper and mixed it up.



Mmm boy.

ONTO THE DEHYDRATOR WITH YOU!



Now I have one of those cheap dehydrators that doesn't have a temperature setting, so I just pressed the on button.

And WAITED. I actually didn't wait that long, because spinach leaves are thin and don't have a lot of water. I can only imagine what would have happened if I tried dehydrating iceberg lettuce...

So when they were all finished, I tossed them into one of my awesome new Apothecary jars (WOOT). So pretty!



But they were REALLY salty. Like...I used too much salt...

So in the end I decided to crumble them up, and I'm going to use them to garnish food later!

Peace,
Mrs. H

Apothecary Jars

Zomg, I have been wanting to make apothecary jars ever since I read this post.

But I could NEVER find jars with lids on them!

It was frustrating, to say the least.

So today, I'm wandering around Goodwill, attempting to take my mind off a 16 piece, perfect condition, $15 dining set (in BLUE, like I want my dishes to be), when I came across not 1, not 2, but FOUR jars with lids! (Well, technically I came across 3 but I found a 4th one a few minutes later in another aisle!)


It was a joyous moment. You should have seen me, I was hoarding those jars in my arms like a little old lady who found a bunch of porcelain cats.

I also grabbed a bunch of candle sticks to glue them on and went on my merry way.

But not before buying a plastic pitcher, almost brand new, that retails at target for like $10 or $15. Eff you, Target!





Anyway, so I had to make a trip to Ace Hardware in order to buy some gah-lue, and then it was home to start putting together my jars! Please note, I just look at all the glue in the glue section at Ace Hardware, and this one's package said good for glass. So it's the one I picked. I'm sure there are several other glues just as good as the one I picked!


*SQUIRREL FINGERS!!!*

So first things first, clean the jars. Soap and hot water will take that sticky adhesive from price tags off! I also cleaned the candle sticks, but they were pretty good to begin with.

Next, make a circle of glue on the bottom of the jar, the same size as the top of your candlestick.

Put the candlestick top onto the bottom of the jar.

Put a heavy book on top.

And wait.

TADA! Apothecary jar! I know this finished one isn't the same as the one in the others pictures, but it was the first dry, and I am impatient!



Peace,
Mrs. H

Grape Sorbet via MY NEW FOOD PROCESSOR

So sometime last year I started making "banana ice cream" by cutting up frozen bananas and tossing them into a blender.

SO DELICIOUS.

So time consuming. A blender is not the best tool for banana ice cream.

Then I found a hand blender at Goodwill. That tool is AMAZING and makes my life soooooo much easier, for banana ice cream and blended soups and everything.

Then I started making strawberry sorbet.

YUMMMMMMMM.

Also time consuming, even with the hand blender.

Sigh. What is a food lover to do?

Pan over to TADA my new Kitchenaid Food Processor! Hooray! Applause! Woooooo!










I have such high hopes for it, among those hopes being that it will make me strawberry sorbet with less time and mess and effort. I can't help it, I'm lazy. So I decided to christen my wonderful new toy with the wonderful concoction!

There's only one problem.

I'm out of strawberries, both frozen and fresh.

No worries! I have a massive stash of bananas in the freezer and OH GOOD GOD they've gone completely gooey...that can't be safe to eat. To the trash with you, my good 'nanas.

Sigh. What to do, what to do!


But wait! They are grapes in my fridge! Delicious, tart green grapes! I bet those would make a wonderful sorbet! All that wonderful water content that would ice up deliciously well inside! All I have to do is pop them in the freezer for an hour...

Or two...

or three...

Move forward 5 hours, to 3 in the morning, when I decide, "They are firm enough! I need to break this baby in RIGHT NOW!"

I wish I had gotten more pictures, but I was just SO EXCITED.

Just pretend you were there: I assembled my new toy, following the instructions carefully (which by the way, aren't that great). I pull the grapes out of the freezer, turn on the processor, and toss them in!

And they liquify.

WHAT THE CRAP. Did I use the wrong blade attachment? Were they not frozen enough? With a sigh of defeat, I poured the slightly frothy, very chilled grape slush into a jar.

I grabbed a spoon, dipped it into the slush and tasted it.

YUMMYYYYYYYYY. I can only imagine that if this had been successful, it would have been my most delicious sorbet yet. Better than the strawberry, which I always added sugar to!

I decided to put the slush into the freezer to firm it up a bit, and we'll see what happens. I will definitely be trying this out again, leaving the grapes in the freezer overnight to completely freeze and firm up and I'll do 2 different batches to test out both blades.

I WILL have grape sorbet, as God as my witness!!!

Peace,
Mrs. H

A Day for Every Pound

So.

I want to lose 100 pounds.

Eventually. Gradually. Healthy like.

Sigh.

So I decided to do something that I think is interesting. I've heard that weight loss is best achieved in small measurable goals. At least for...most people?

Anyway, what I've decided to do is spend a day for every pound I want to lose NOT eating out. Just making home made meals. These meals...won't necessarily be healthy. But my thinking is that the more I cook in, the more healthy my eating habits will become.

I do not expect to lose 100 pounds in 100 days. That's just crazy talk!

Here's what will happen at the end of 100 days.

Let's pretend at the end of 100 days I've lost...15 pounds. That 5 pounds a month. Not too shabby. Anyway, that leaves 85 pounds to lose. At that time, the ticker will reset, with 85 days to go. Then I will go another 85 days without eating out, etc etc. My thinking on THIS is that if my miniature goals get EASIER (aka less time spent), I'll be more likely to keep going, thus making my ultimate goal more achievable!

I'm brilliant, I know.

We'll see what happens, eh?

Peace,
Mrs. H

Look out, Martha Stewart!

Not really. I'm not really into stealing from the government...

But! I do love me some cooking and crafting and beautifying of my environment! Soooo much. I feel like a mini-Martha sometimes, and my friends call me the ultimate housewife.

Which, now that I'm married (for 5 days), I guess I can be called a housewife!

My hubby likes to call me Mrs. H, so you can call me that too!

My blog is going to be filled with my forays into cooking and crafting and designing of the stuff around me!

So basically it'll be just like every other bored housewife blog out there...but oh well! Maybe you'll learn something new here!

Be prepared for the first installment, which will most likely involve my new food processor! *squirrel fingers!!*

Peace,
Mrs. H